Sometimes, Booth Dreams
by Chickalupe
Summary: Seeley Booth has strange memories of another life.


**Title: **Sometimes, Booth Dreams.

**Author:** Chickalupe

**Feedback:** ooh, makes me feel all tingly… 

**Site:** .com/writings_on_the_wall – Here lies my website, dead these four long years. Rest In Peace, old friend.

**Fandom:** BtVS/Bones crossover

**Pairing:** hints of Angel/Spike, Angel/Buffy, Angel/Darla, Angel/Drusilla; Booth/Cam and Booth/Bones. Nothing explicit or descriptive.

**Rating:** PG-13

**Spoilers:** All of BtVS, all of AtS, up to current season of Bones.

**Warnings:** implied slash and het

**Disclaimer:** Joss Whedon owns the 'Buffy/Angel'-verse. I'm assuming Kathy Reichs and some corporate people at FOX own 'Bones'. David Boreanaz owns himself, but I choose to blame him for this plotbunny.

**Summary:** Seeley Booth has strange memories of another life.

**Author Note: **I might, *might* mind you, write a sequel to this-- if persuaded, and if the muse strikes twice. I'll see how people like this bit of fluff first.

Also, this is the first thing I've ever attempted to write that wasn't rated Mature/NC-17. Hope I didn't rate it too low or high for the content, and hope that people aren't disappointed by lack of outright smut.

Special Agent Seeley Booth dreams. They are the same dreams most people have. Running from things in the dark, falling, flying, being naked back in high school geometry... The usual things.

But sometimes, Booth has different sorts of dreams. Dreams that feel like memories. Instead of running, he's the one doing the chasing. Hunting down prey, helpless people in the night that he catches and does terrible, unspeakable things to. Tearing into their throat, letting their (_hotsweetsalty_) blood fill his mouth and drinking in deeply. It tastes of the finest wine.

Sometimes there is a man at his side, shorter and thinner than he is. This man has sharp blue eyes and equally sharp cheekbones. The man's hair changes, now sandy brown curls, now white-blond and slicked back, but the face is always the same. In the dreams Seeley hears this blond guy speaking with an English accent, which is ridiculous because the only British person he's ever met was that irritating therapist the FBI made him see.

Blond-Brit guy insults him; calls him something else, some other name (_Cherub? Demon?_) that hovers right on the edge of his knowledge and is never there when Seeley wakes. He talks back, in Dream-World, calling the man a name that fits with the knife lines of the face and equally prickly personality. (_Skewer? Sword? Stake? Something with an 'S'._)

The blond guy with a name like a nail is often beside him in the dreams. Fellow hunter, stalking the night. At times, almost like a child he is teaching. A brother. A friend. Frequently; in dreams that cause Seeley to wake with a combination of shame, confusion, and arousal, he is a lover.

Blond Guy is regularly a fighter in Booth's dreams. Fighting against him. Fighting beside him. Once, (_only once, once was more than enough_) he and the sharp one are shoulder to shoulder, weapons in hand as they face things too awful for words. Seeley hears words come out of his own mouth; "_I get to slay the dragon._"

Booth sometimes dreams when he's awake. He looks at the people around him and sees other faces imposed over theirs. When he gazes into Cam's or Bones' eyes (_not with his ex, never with her_) and notices the fierce, strong women they are, he will suddenly see a small blond girl with hazel eyes, tough but somehow still innocent. A girl he has never met, has no way of knowing. He sees this strange girl's features in his mind, and for just a moment feels affection, love, regret. Knows that they have been many things to each other, (_friendloverenemypartner_) though he cannot tell if she ever existed anywhere outside of his dreams.

Sometimes it's a different blond woman, crueler features and artful makeup, the sight of whom leaves his stomach in knots of hate.

Other days, she is a black haired girl with huge dark eyes, peculiarly cadenced voice talking of the stars. (_The stars say we will dance and the blood will flow in rivers like rubies and it will be ever so lovely_…) It makes Booth feel sick (_proud_) and frightened when he can hear her calling him "Daddy"; because in both Dream-World and Awake-World Seeley's not old enough to be her father, except in a way that he doesn't want to contemplate_._

Booth loves his son Parker with every single fiber of his being, with a powerful love that shakes him to his very core when Seeley thinks about losing him. Parker with his mother's golden locks and Seeley's brown eyes is the only child Booth has ever had. So why does he remember another baby boy? Dark hair, green eyes. A miracle. The feeling of loss and betrayal. Those same green eyes, much older now, filled with hate. Having the wish for a different life, a better childhood, better everything for the boymanchild. He tries to ignore it, pushing the emotions for some phantom kid into love for his real little boy.

A dozen times a day it happens, and every night in his sleep. For as far back as Seeley can recall, he feels like he is seeing through someone else's eyes; gazing through a window into another world that might have been (_once was_) his. He never tells anyone: parents, friends, teachers, partners, shrinks. He knows instinctively, even as a child, that this is his alone to bear. They wouldn't understand. How do you explain dreams of a former life, long before you're old enough to learn about reincarnation? No, others wouldn't get it, or the way the dream-memories make him feel; scared yet comforted. The familiar monster under the bed. (_The devil you know_…)

Seeley's favorite dreams are the simplest, the ones where he is floating and surrounded by whiteness. Everything is peaceful. There is no pain, no fear. Sometimes, disembodied voices like bells whisper _"rebirth"_ and _"reward"._ Those are the times Booth wakes up with the nonsense word '_Shanshu_' on his lips. It is a word that appears in no dictionary of the English language--he's checked. Many times. Still, those particular dreams leave him with a wonderful sense of calm and wellbeing.

Always, after the dreams of the white place, Seeley looks at his life and the world around him with new appreciation for weeks afterwards. Feeling joy at the very ordinariness of his humanity.

So, Agent Seeley Booth lives, and he works, and goes about his day-to-day. He interacts with others. He loves.

And at night, he dreams. He remembers an eventful life, different from this one, yet still making him feel at home.

_**~End.**_


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